Got a toothbrush?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
