Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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