Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
