Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize