i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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