i already hear my dad disowning me
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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