I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
accomplished twins. life is a go
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
