come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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