hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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