You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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