do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
