never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
