If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
My butt remains clenched, sir.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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