butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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