No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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