I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
