Me too!
her vagine was all disorganized.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
