Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
He did a backflip because drugs
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