That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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