just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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