Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
