Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
