I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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