I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
