i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Randomize
