just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
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