I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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