I love black thongs
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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