he wants to bone in the snuggie
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
