Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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