My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
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