Is it because I queefed?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
