he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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