moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I need to sanitize my soul.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
