dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize