she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
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She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
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Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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