From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
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Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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