You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
