how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
