my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
