I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
false alarm. still invincible.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize