Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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