his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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