I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I look excited, but its just a facade.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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