please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
