he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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