worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
