I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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