I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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