if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Small penises have feelings too.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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