I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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