I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
