he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Even my vagina gasped.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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