I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize