im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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