Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
