i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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