I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize