He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize