The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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