so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize