apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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