There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
