i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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