Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
im six kinds of drunk right now
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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