Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
